For me my OCD is very hard to explain. It probably won’t make any sense to people who don’t have OCD and don’t really understand it, which is ok! I will try my best to explain as clearly as possible. So my OCD tends to focus round counting. Lots and lots of counting. For even the littlest of things I have to perform counting rituals inside my head that never go past the number 4. The pattern in which I count differs a lot, to be honest I’d be here all day if I was to explain every counting pattern that I do. Lets just say that I count A LOT, and it’s extremely frustrating. Also I perform rituals that include tapping the walls to fluffing pillows (I know that sounds silly) and many many other things. One of the main reasons why I do these rituals is because I worry that something bad is going to happen if I don’t complete them.That bad thing could be anything from something happening at school to someone getting seriously ill or dying and every little thing in between. I don’t know that these are going to happen, but my mind just can’t be put to rest until I complete my rituals ‘just in case’ any of these things occur and then if they did it would be my fault. I worry that my thoughts effect people. For example if I think about illness I automatically assume that someone is going to get ill that I know of. Intrusive thoughts effect me too, they just get stuck and go round and round in my head. You know it would be extremely helpful if I had my psychologist here to explain it to you all. She explains things so well and probably could explain all this far better than I could, but oh well! Anyway I get very high anxiety if any of my rituals aren’t performed and even when I make decisions like ‘which glass should I use!? Which glass is good which is bad???? I don’t know! Help!’ (Ok that’s a strange example, but anyway!) So yeahhh… very complicating right. I suppose OCD is very complicating in any form. I have been through many other forms of OCD through out the time that I have had it like contamination OCD and checking OCD its all kinda filtered its way through to what I have now, which in no doubt will change some time.
Well anyway as most of you know OCD comes in a variety of forms, really it comes in endless forms. Everyone’s is different. This is my OCD right now, that I have explained (probably not very well). Thank you all for reading this and see you!