OCD

OCD and Illness

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For me, I find that when other people in my family or myself are ill, my OCD tends to spike. For example now, I’m not feeling 100% and I’m kind of on the tipping point of not being too sure if I’m just really exhausted, or whether I’m actually coming down with something. I think this type of thing is the worst because I’m just not sure what the outcome will be. My routines tend to spike to try and prevent myself from becoming ill and I also become really sensitive to how I’m feeling health wise. Every little ‘out if the ordinary’ feeling that on most days I wouldn’t think twice about, becomes such a big thing and I think ‘Oh no, what if this means I’m getting ill. Help, I can’t be ill?! I need to protect myself and others.’ It can become really stressful and tiring. I wouldn’t even normally talk about thinking I’m going to get ill at all because I think that even saying, talking or thinking about it will make it happen. So writing this is really making me nervous, I feel like I’m sending myself down the road of illness indefinitely, however I’m persevering and trying to treat this like an exposure. Even now whilst I’m writing this, I’m becoming more aware of how I’m feeling and I’m now thinking I have ear ache, when I clearly don’t. It’s just so frustrating. : (
I’m just mentally all over the place right now, and I wish it would stop. Another thing is that I really don’t want to miss my therapy appointment because I haven’t been in over two weeks because of Christmas and New Year, so I’m seriously hoping that I won’t be ill for that.

Mind frazzled! : (

Ellen x My Twitter

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8 thoughts on “OCD and Illness

  1. Really well done in writing this Ellen, you’ve given OCD a good kick in the ass! Ellen this is so like what I’ve been going through over the couple of months, its unbelievable!! It could have been me writing it! I absolutely understand how you’re feeling at the minute, it is incredibly draining. I have the exact same thought about “what if I miss my appointment, I haven’t seen her in two weeks I can’t miss that”. It puts a lot of pressure on. Sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. Here anytime you need a chat! 🙂 x

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    1. I’m glad I’m not alone then! Ah, it’s just so frustrating, I’m just like ‘mind stop it!’ Just gotta make it to Wednesday.

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  2. No you’re definitely not on your own, it’s such a frustrating thing!! Funny I’ve spent all of last week saying “I’ve just got to make it to Tuesday”. I know that even though next weeks appointment isn’t special in any way, that when it comes to it I’ll start worrying about missing it too. I think I always have this thing about not wanting to let my psychologist down by missing it (not that it would) I told her about my worry and she said “I wouldn’t worry about that, I’d take the opportunity to have a coffee!!” – she has a great sense of humour! Over the last couple of months I’ve been worried about missing an appointment, I haven’t missed one. I spend my time sick with worry about something that doesn’t even happen!!

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  3. That’s what I always tell myself, but it’s one thing saying it and another believing it. I can’t get my head to go with me on it!!! Lol!!
    Your absolutely spot on though. If the worst came to the worst you’d just get an appointment for next week. You could even get one early in the week so it was only a couple of days difference. Keep batting ocd down. 🙂

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