For me, I find that when other people in my family or myself are ill, my OCD tends to spike. For example now, I’m not feeling 100% and I’m kind of on the tipping point of not being too sure if I’m just really exhausted, or whether I’m actually coming down with something. I think this type of thing is the worst because I’m just not sure what the outcome will be. My routines tend to spike to try and prevent myself from becoming ill and I also become really sensitive to how I’m feeling health wise. Every little ‘out if the ordinary’ feeling that on most days I wouldn’t think twice about, becomes such a big thing and I think ‘Oh no, what if this means I’m getting ill. Help, I can’t be ill?! I need to protect myself and others.’ It can become really stressful and tiring. I wouldn’t even normally talk about thinking I’m going to get ill at all because I think that even saying, talking or thinking about it will make it happen. So writing this is really making me nervous, I feel like I’m sending myself down the road of illness indefinitely, however I’m persevering and trying to treat this like an exposure. Even now whilst I’m writing this, I’m becoming more aware of how I’m feeling and I’m now thinking I have ear ache, when I clearly don’t. It’s just so frustrating. : (
I’m just mentally all over the place right now, and I wish it would stop. Another thing is that I really don’t want to miss my therapy appointment because I haven’t been in over two weeks because of Christmas and New Year, so I’m seriously hoping that I won’t be ill for that.
Mind frazzled! : (
Ellen x My Twitter