For me, I find that I really worry about my sister catching onto some of my OCD tendencies. I’m completely aware that you can’t necessarily teach someone to have OCD, but if she sees me tapping walls or whatever ritual she may see me doing I worry that she may start doing the same. This is probably completely irrational, but it scares me so much because I would hate for her to have OCD take over her life too.
She does act as sort of like an exposure though, because if we are together and I need to ritualise I will try my hardest not to so that she’s not exposed to it. However most of the time that’s really hard to do…I feel like if she ever did develop OCD I would be completely to blame and I would hate myself for it. She’s at the age now that when I was that age my OCD was just starting to develop. It’s like I need to protect her from it, which is nearly impossible because I can’t even escape from it myself.
If for example if she taps something more than once, which for her is totally unrelated to OCD and rarely happens, I completely freak out and start shouting “stop stop” because I’m so scared it might be related to OCD. It isn’t at all because she just stops and walks off no problem, but in the moment I just mentally flip out and try my absolute hardest to make her stop. Normally if this ever happens, she only starts to tap to take the mic out of me which she doesn’t do often and I don’t even think she fully understands what OCD is at all, but it just makes me so scared. I think I’m just too vigilant and I see things that aren’t even relevant and it’s just my mind messing with me.
This post was a little all over the place but hopefully it read okay. Has anyone else experienced this? It doesn’t necessarily have to be with a younger sibling, it could be with anyone.
I thought I’d add a quote at the end if each of my posts from now on so today’s quote is:
When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on
Ellen x My Twitter